Hi, and Merry Christmas everybody. I saw Brokeback Mountain the other day and just had to write down this little thing! It's kinda fluffy and sappy, but I hope you like it!|
Spoilers: some for Brokeback Mountain and small ones for Grave Danger
Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters, they belong to cbs and Annie Proulx. I'm just borrowing them for a while!
A long shift was finally over and Sara and Greg were sitting in the break room waiting for Grissom to come tell them they could go home. The whole graveyard-shift had pulled doubles for three days since the dayshift had been on a seminar. They’d been mad about it, but there was nothing they could do; they all knew Ecklie favoured the dayshift. Sara was almost asleep when Greg asked her a question.
“Hey Sar, wanna go to the movies tonight before shift? I wanna see Brokeback Mountain again.”
“Sure I’ll come. I thought you wanted to see it with Nick though.”
Sara was the only one who knew about the relationship between Nick and Greg. Since she was Greg’s best friend, he had told her after the first date. That was four years ago now, and to Greg’s dismay Sara was still the only one who knew. He could understand that Nick hadn’t wanted to come out right away, but four years had gone, and he still claimed not to be ready.
“Yeah, but he doesn’t want to come. He’s scared what other people will think if he sees it. He’s sure everyone will understand that he’s gay.”
“Damn Greg. I’m sorry. I’ll go with you. I’d love to see it again.”
Just then Grissom entered the room.
“Glad I caught you. Since we’ve been working doubles for three nights now, we all have this night off. Go home and get some sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Since Greg knew about Grissom and Sara dating he winked at her and said “See you at home” before he turned to leave. Greg suddenly thought of something.
“Hey Griss. Me and Sara are going to see Brokeback Mountain tonight. You wanna tag along?”
Grissom didn’t need much time to answer and gave the other CSI’s a nod and “Sure I’ll come” before he left the room. Sara looked at Greg in confusion, but didn’t have time to ask about his motivations as Catherine entered. As soon as she was sitting, Greg asked her the same question.
“I’d love to come. Lindsey went to see it last week with some friends. Said I couldn’t come ‘cause that would just be too embarrassing!”
All three started laughing at this statement and got funny looks from Warrick and Nick as they joined them around the table.
“What’s so funny?” Warrick looked at each of them as Sara managed to sober up enough to answer the question.
“Cath was just telling us how Lindsey didn’t want to see Brokeback Mountain with her, ‘cause that would be too embarrassing. Us three and Grissom are going to see it tonight. Hey guys; it’s our night off, let’s go out somewhere afterwards.”
Greg and Catherine immediately launched on the idea, and they decided to go to a bi-club, just to stay in the mood for the night. As the decisions were made Sara turned to the two level three CSI-guys.
“So, you wanna come?”
Warrick looked at her disbelievingly. “What? To see Brokeback Mountain? Isn’t that the gay cowboy movie?”
Greg and Sara instantly huffed at the other man. “It’s soo much more than that. It’s a love-story. It’s really beautiful.”
Nick tried to look everywhere but at his boyfriend. “I thought you’d already seen it.”
Sara shrugged. “Yeah. But I wanna see it again. It’s great.”
Warrick didn’t seem too convinced. “Isn’t this more for gay people to see? I’m so not interested in seeing guys doing it.”
“Damn Warrick. Don’t be a prick. You don’t see anything. Some kissing yeah, but no more than that. I saw it two weeks ago and I loved it.” Greg was getting a little angry with his friend now. He knew the darker man wasn’t a homophobic, but he was very much straight.
“So Sanders, you gay then?”
“Yeah I am actually. You got a problem with that?”
Nick’s face paled as he heard the words escaping Greg’s lips. He knew that the younger man wasn’t hiding this and that he never lied when he was asked a direct question. He could feel Warrick shuffle in the chair next to him.
“No, no, no Greggo. I don’t have a problem with that. You are who you are I guess. Look. Why don’t I just meet you in the club?”
Catherine had held her tongue for long enough now. “No you’re not. If you don’t see the movie, then you don’t get to hang out with us after it. So Nick, what do you have to say? You’ve been awfully quiet.” Catherine was almost sure that the Texan was gay and in a relationship with Greg, but she had never gotten her suspicions confirmed.
Nick was squirming under the older woman’s gaze. For two weeks he had managed to say no to Greg’s puppy eyes and questions about seeing this movie. Now there was nothing he could do. If he said no he would come out as a homophobe and disappoint Greg even more than he had done in the past. And if he said yes, there was a huge chance that he would come out period. ‘Damn. Now what?’ Looking at the options there was only one answer to that question.
“Yeah sure, I’ll come.”
Nick knew he didn’t sound too excited, but the huge smile on Greg’s face made it all worth it. He could see Sara give the ex-tech the thumbs up, and couldn’t help but wonder if this was all a set-up.
In the end, Warrick decided to tag along too. Seeing that Nick had accepted the invite, the Vegas-native didn’t want to come off as a chicken. They all agreed to meet at the theatre at eight pm, and were soon on their way to their respective homes.
Nick and Greg didn’t drive home together, they usually drove different cars since they never knew if they would finish shift at the same time. On his way home Greg stopped by the store to buy some groceries. When he came home, Nick was pacing in the living room. As soon as the ex-tech came in the Texan pounced on him.
“I don’t wanna see that movie!”
Greg frowned and moved to the kitchen to put away the food he had bought. Nick followed him and repeated the statement. Greg slammed the fridge-door shut and looked at his boyfriend.
“You know what; Fine! I don’t fucking care. Don’t bother coming Nick.” Greg turned around and picked a bottle of water out from the fridge.
Nick was still angry. “Don’t turn around from me. Did you plan this?”
Greg turned back, confusion in his eyes. “Plan what Nick?”
“For Catherine to ask me to come.”
“And how do you figure I did that? I’ve asked you to see this movie with me for two weeks now, and you’ve said no every time. So I gave up and asked Sara to go with me instead. And then Grissom and Catherine decided to come along. I didn’t ask you Nick, Sara asked Warrick and then Catherine asked you. I’m tired, I’m going to bed.”
As Greg started walking towards the bedroom Nick grabbed his wrist. “No you’re not, I’m not done talking ‘bout this.”
Greg yanked his arm free. “I am. And guess what; don’t come. I don’t want you there. This is one of my all time favorite movies, and I won’t have you ruining it for me. If you’re so fucking scared and embarrassed for being gay just stay at home, watch Fight Club and try to remember how macho you are. I don’t care. Just don’t fuck up this movie for me. Good night Nick.”
With that the CSI one left. When Nick came into the bedroom twenty minutes later Greg was laying on his side of the bed, his back towards Nick’s side and scooted as far to the edge he could come without falling off. Nick sighed deeply and slumped down under the comforter. He stretched out his hand and put it on Greg’s back; when he felt the Californian tense he removed it again. ‘Damn. I guess I fucked up again. I only managed to disappoint Greg more than if I’d just said no to Catherine. Why is this so hard? I’ve told my family for God’s sake, and most of them are cool with it. Why can’t I tell our co-workers? Okay; stupid question Stokes; you know exactly why. You’re scared they will look at you differently, that they’ll not want to be friends with you anymore, that the job will be more difficult, that Greg might get hurt because of homophobic jerks in the pd and so on and so on.’
Nick hit the sheet beside him in anger because he was such a fucking coward. He looked over to his boyfriend and could see his shoulders shake. ‘Is Greg crying? Did I cause that?’ Without a second thought he moved over and scooped the younger man into his arms. Greg fought him for two seconds before he gave up and gripped the Texan’s shoulders. He cried into the older mans chest for a little while until he finally relaxed.
“I’m sorry Nicky. I don’t wanna fight with you. If you don’t want to see the movie, that’s okay with me. If you just don’t want to see it in public, it’ll be out on dvd in a couple a months. We’ll buy it and see it here. Or if you don’t want to see it sitting next to me, you can sit in between Sara and Catherine. I don’t care. Just please don’t be mad at me.”
Nick could feel tears on the back of his eyes; Greg thought he was angry at him. “I’m not angry at you sweetie, I’m angry at me. I’m sorry for being such a jerk. I don’t care who knows. You’re what’s important to me. I’ll come see the movie with you, and I’ll sit with you. I’m sorry for scaring you. I love you, you know?”
Greg moved his head a bit to look at his boyfriend. He was puffed and bleary-eyed, but still the most beautiful person on earth according to Nick. It was all in his smile; and the one that shone upon him now was radiant.
“I know. I love you too Nicky. Thanks for coming with me.” The ex-tech gave his Texan a small kiss before he rested his head on that muscled chest again. “Let’s get some sleep.”
Nick pulled the lithe man closer to him and revelled in the smell of him. He stayed awake for hours after Greg had fallen asleep, just enjoying holding the Californian in his arms. When he fell asleep the grip he had only tightened.
Nick and Greg arrived at the theatre together. It wasn’t a secret that they lived together; most people just didn’t know the true meaning behind the phrase. As they walked in they spotted Sara and Grissom seated on a bench. They walked over and Greg propped himself down beside Sara who immediately threw her arm around his shoulder and gave him a peck on the cheek.
“Hi there Greggo. We’ve bought the tickets already, so you’ll just owe me.”
“Sounds good. But if I remember correctly I bought the tickets two weeks ago, so I guess we’re even.”
“Oh yeah, that’s true. Oh well, then Nick you owe me!”
Nick smiled at the brunet and reached for his wallet at the same time as Catherine and Warrick walked in. They all moved to buy popcorn and drinks, and soon after they were ready for the movie to start. Nick was true to his promise, and Greg found himself seated between Sara and the Texan, with Grissom on Sara’s other side, and Catherine and Warrick beside Nick.
The room soon was filled; the majority of the viewers were women, a few gay men, and some men who obviously had been threatened to go by their girlfriends. Greg was fidgeting a little in his seat, trying to find a good position to sit in for two hours. When his knee accidently touched Nick’s he could feel the Texan tense and heard the small gasp that emitted through tight lips. He hurried to remove his foot, a little sad, but mostly tired of always being the one trying and fighting for any little small thing he could get from Nick. He grabbed Sara’s hand and put his head on her shoulder. She had noticed the encounter and squeezed Greg’s hand back. She felt sorry for him, and was a little mad at the other man for being so damn insecure. Didn’t Nick see how much his actions hurt Greg? By the look on his face, he probably did, he just didn’t know what to do about it.
On the other side of the ex-tech, Nick was cursing himself. ‘Why do I have to be so damn afraid? What the hell am I afraid of? We’re sitting in a semi-dark theatre surrounded by friends. It’s not like they’ll do anything if our knees touch, or even understand. Stop being such a fuck-up Stokes. But, what will they say? Will Warrick look at me differently? Will he still want to be my friend? Then again, it will stop Catherine trying to set me up with anyone else, not that she’s tried in the last year. Hmm, wonder why? Stop it; focus now. Your boyfriend is hurt, what will you do about it?’
When the light was turned off, Greg stretched his back and relaxed in the seat. As the Wyoming-scenery came into view, he was intent on forgetting all of his troubles and just enjoy the movie. Soon after the CSI one was deep in the movie, only seeing the pictures on the screen and hearing the music and dialogue. As Jack walked out of his car and looked at Ennis for the first time, a hand landed on Greg’s. He almost jumped and looked over at the Texan. Nick looked at him with a small smile, mouthing “sorry”, his eyes begging for forgiveness. The ex-tech’s heart jumped a beat before he smiled back, turned his hand over and laced their fingers together.
On either side of the pair, two women noticed the action. Sara smiled a grateful smile, happy for her friend. On the other side Catherine finally got her suspicions confirmed. Her face was lighted with an I-knew-it-smile mixed with happiness for her friends.
As soon as the lights came on Greg gave Nick a small squeeze before letting go of his hand, knowing that the Texan wasn’t too comfortable with PDA. The group walked out of the movie theatre heading for a bi-club only three blocks away. The club was only half-full and they got themselves a table in the more secluded area of the place. The music was in the pop/ easy rock genre, just the typical no-one-likes-no-one-hates type. Boring sure, but it keeps most of the costumers happy.
He knew he would never admit it to anyone except for Greg, but Nick had been deeply touched by the movie. He couldn’t help himself thinking about the way the relationship between Jack and Ennis had turned out. How sorry he was for them, and especially for Ennis for always being too scared to live his own life. In a way he could relate to it. He could easily switch places with Ennis, and Greg would be Jack. The only reason why Nick had been in a committed relationship with Greg for four years now, was that Greg was a little more persistent than Jack had been.
Since they first met, Nick had been enthralled by the younger man. He just loved the way he could bright up a room when he smiled, how eager he was to always help solving cases, how brilliant he was; just everything about Greg fascinated Nick. And still it had taken Greg more than a year to convince the Texan that he in fact was in love with the (then) tech. His pig-headedness had reached every border that particular year.
Greg though, was not one to give up lightly. Especially when it was something he really wanted. He wanted Nick, and he’d be damned if he wouldn’t get him in the end. Of course he did get him, and the Texan couldn’t be happier about it. The years with Greg in his life, had been the best ever. The Californian knew exactly how to handle him, what to say, and how to hold him when nightmares plagued him. Nick was sure that if Greg hadn’t been in his life, he wouldn’t have survived the burying. Not just the time after, but also the actual time in the casket. It had been the thought of leaving Greg that had stopped him from pulling the trigger.
Thinking back, Nick was painfully aware of the fact that every little thing that made their relationship move forward had been done by Greg. Greg had made them a couple. Greg had convinced him to come out to his family; something that had gone remarkably well since only one sister and some aunts didn’t approve. Greg had refused him to go back to his house after the Nigel Crane-incident. Greg had dragged him along looking for a house for them to call theirs. Greg had bought a dog so he wouldn’t have to sleep alone when the ex-tech had to return to work after the burial. Greg had fixed a sitter to take care of the German Shepard after Nick had returned to work.
‘So what the fuck have you ever done for your boyfriend?’ The question was very unnerving, and not a good one to think about. ‘It’s about time you grow some balls Stokes and do something.’
As that thought took hold in Nick’s mind, he woke up as if he’d been in a haze since they’d left the theatre. He could see the others talking animatedly about the movie and saw Greg give him weird glances, like he was wondering what was wrong. He had a beer in front of him which he had obviously been drinking of, since it was almost empty. With ‘do something’ still on his mind he drained the bottle, and locked eyes with Greg.
“I’m not an Ennis. I don’t want to be like that.”
He grabbed the Californian’s hand and dragged him out on the dance floor, past two shocked and two grinning co-workers. The song was a slow one, something that suited Nick just fine. He put his hands around his lover’s waist and pulled him as close as was humanly possible. As the song went on, he whispered apologies in the ex-techs ear.
“I’m so sorry honey. I love you so much. I don’t want to be scared anymore, I just want to be with you. I’m sorry you’ve had to do all the work up till now, I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I’m done being scared. It’s worth it. You’re worth it, you’re worth anything.”
Greg had tears in his eyes when he finally heard the words that he’d been waiting four years for. He nuzzled closer so they were dancing cheek-to-cheek and strengthened his hold around the older man’s neck and shoulders.
“I love you too Nicky, and believe me, everything I’ve done, has been for both of us. You’re worth it too you know, even if you don’t think so yourself. To me you’re worth it.”
Nick couldn’t help the big smile that erupted on his face when he heard this. He moved one hand up to Greg’s hair and gently pulled his head back just to gain access to the younger man’s mouth. The kiss was their first ever shared publicly in Las Vegas. To Greg it was a dream come true, and Nick was only happy to oblige. As they broke the kiss due to lack of air, both of them turned to see their co-workers reactions.
Greg looked at the Texan a little cautious. “Does it bother you that Grissom and Warrick knows?”
Nick looked back at his boyfriend with a weird look in his eyes. “No. What bothers me is that it looks like Catherine and Sara want to see more.”
Greg burst out laughing. “No way! We got faghags?” He looked back to their table and saw the girls in an animated talk with the guys. “Aaw, that’s so sweet.” He winked once to Sara and returned his attention to his lover.
Nick smiled back at him, amused by the thought of Sara and Catherine as their personal faghags. “We got some good friends. We’ll be fine.”
The laugh in Greg died down to a loving smile as he watched his boyfriend grow ten inches right in front of him. He snuggled closer again and felt their bodies mold into one. “We’re more than fine.”
A/N: I know, I know, not the best I've written, but okay enough I guess! Kinda in my normal thing though; Greg and Nick fights, small angst and then make up and everything is fine! Ah well, guess that's just me! Would love to know what you think of it!