CSI
10,000 Miles by Raine_Szmanda1 [Reviews - 5]
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“Everybody needs a little time away.”
I heard you say,
“From each other.”
“Even lovers need a holiday.
Far away, from each other”

Hold me now
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to stay
After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise to
And after all that's been said and done
You're just the part of me I can't let go (Ooo ooo)

Couldn't stand to be kept away
Just for the day
From your body
Wouldn't wanna be swept away
Far away, from the one that I love

Hold me now
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to know


Warrick and Alyssa were sitting close together in the cafeteria with their heads down talking quietly when Nick arrived. They sat up straight and smiled at him.


“Sup, Nick? Have a good night?”


“Eah, it was alright, your cousin Chris called me yesterday - we hung out. He’s a pretty cool guy, I like him.”


“Yeah he told me about that. Listen, we were planning on taking a trip out to the lake, to do some camping and what not - you interested?”


“Sounds interesting, I guess. Who’s going?”

“Me, Warrick, Greg, you, Warrick’s cousin Matt and his girlfriend Lynn”


“Greg?”


“Yeah, we asked him before we came to school, and he agreed”


“Oh...”


“Come on Nicky. It’ll be fun”


Nick looked up at Warrick as if he has just told him that he should drown his kitten, then he finally relented and nodded. He was afraid of Greg in a way, because he had this overwhelming power to make him feel unlike himself. It was great while he was around, but when he left it felt like he was smothering.


After school that day he went home to pack, then he made his way to Greg’s where they would all be waiting. When Greg saw him walk up the driveway, he paled a little bit and looked at Warrick and Alyssa questioningly. They just shrugged at him and went back to packing up the van. When Warrick and Greg were done tying up the surfboards they all piled in. Matt and Lynn took the very back, Alyssa and Warrick the middle, which left Nick sitting beside Greg in the front. The tension could be cut with a knife, but they tried to talk around it. It was difficult but finally they began talking about what they were going to do that night.


“Did you guys bring stuff for s’mores?” Greg asked them all excitedly.


“You really think you need sugar Greg? I mean you’re insane enough without it.”


“You’re just jealous Matt because you don’t’ have my charm” Greg stuck his tongue out at Matt in the rearview mirror.


Nick started playing with buttons on the CD player, he was surprised when he came to a CD that he actually liked. “Making Memories Of Us,” by Keith Urban began to fill their ears and he smiled lightly. Greg pulled out of the driveway and listened as Nick and Matt broke into a conversation about football.


Greg got lost in his driving and the music that was playing. He smiled slightly, as images of Nick started floating through his head: when he first met him, when he first smiled at him, when he first started calling him Greggo, and when he first kissed him. Then came the images of him leaving and Nick turning his back on him, how he felt when Tom smashed him in the face, the way he felt after Kristen slept with him, and how happy he felt when he was on the airplane home. But then: the look on Nick’s face when Chris kissed him on the cheek and how gently Nick placed his fingertips on that place after Chris had left him. Greg wanted to swear under his breath, but decided that they would ask questions, he wasn't in the mood for questions of any sort. He wasn't in the mood for anything, except the driving and the music that was floating throughout the van. He was almost able to block everyone out until Lynn spoke to him.


“Do you still surf Greg?”


“Haven’t in a long time Lynn, I think I lost my passion for it.” He sent a sideways glance towards Nick who looked a little taken aback.


“But I thought you loved to surf, Greggo? Why’d you just give it up.”


“I loved a lot of things that I just gave up.” His tone was bitter, and Nick felt the dig right at his heart, and he grew tight-lipped.


“Well we packed more than enough surf boards, G. You’ll be on those waves, trust me.”


“We’ll see.”


“No, you will be, I promise.”


Greg nodded and finally they arrived. He pulled up in front of the camping grounds, and started to set up camp. Two tents, one was really small - which was going to house Matt and Lynn. The other was going to sleep Warrick Alyssa, Nick and Greg. Greg’s dog Colby was going to sleep in Greg's van, where he had made her a bed up in the back after everything was unpacked. They went down to the water, and Greg watched people surfing. Matt pushed him towards the water. Finally, after a bit of coaxing he took his shirt off, and pulled off his pants so he was down to shorts.


“Okay, you guys win.”


He was off before they could think, he was hitting the waves perfectly, his grace could be envied, He finally came back in and fell on top of his surfboard, breathing heavily. Nick was sitting on a towel beside his head.


“Have fun?”


“Took a lot out of me, I'm not in shape like I used to be.”


He sat up on his arms and watched other people surfing and watched Warrick and Matt trying to get up on surfboards.


“Matt’s a riot.”


“Yeah, he’s a cool guy. You gonna go try and surf Nick?”


“I don’t remember how.”


“I can try and teach you again.”


“I don’t want to remember, G.”


Greg knew he was meaning more than just the surfing and he nodded. He stood up, picked up his surfboard and left. Alyssa sat down beside Nick.


“I envy you Nick Stokes.”


“Why Alyssa?”


“Ever since kindergarten, I have been in love with Greg. But, he doesn’t see me like that - unfortunately he’s gay. But he sees you, he’s in love with you, even a blind person could see that, but you won’t even look at him. God how I wish I were in your shoes just for a few minutes; to know what it would feel like to be looked upon as a god in Greg’s eyes.”


She sighed as she watched Greg’s retreating form, and looked into Nick’s eyes. She shook her head and walked back towards Lynn and Warrick - where they were throwing sand at each other. Greg made his way back to the campground and opened the back of his van where his dog was sleeping soundly. He hopped in beside her and hugged her gently letting his tears fall into her soft black fur.


“He’s just a coward Colby, just a big old coward.”


Later that night they were all joking around and having a good time, eating a lot of food and laughing loudly. Fnally they were too tired to do anything besides go to bed. Greg said goodnight to Colby and fell down beside Nick, turned his back to him, and fell asleep.


Nick couldn't sleep - Alyssa hit a nerve when she talked to him. He just stared at the back of Greg, sighed deeply, and rolled a little closer to Greg and closed his eyes. The light went out, and when Nick was sure Greg was sleeping - he was snoring lightly - he reached out and touched his shoulder.


Greg’s eyes shot open but he didn't move, Nick's hands were exploring his body; they ran gently through his hair, and he could have sworn that Nick had leaned in and smelled it. Nick stopped running his fingers through his hair and wrapped a strong arm around Greg, pulled him close and fell asleep. Greg, on the other hand, was now wide awake, heart hammering out of his chest. He tried to move but Nick was too strong. Greg rolled over and started whispering Nick's name - who he finally coaxed out of a sleep.


Nick finally spoke. “Yeah Greg?”


“Can you please let me go?”


“Do I have to?”


“Yeah.”


Nick's arm moved, and Greg rolled over - but somehow his body found it's self pressed into Nicks chest. Greg sat up and walked out of the tent and sat at the picnic table. He put his head in his hands and let tears fall. Then he saw movement from the tent - Nick was coming out after him.


“I’m sorry Greg.”


“You don’t have to be sorry Nick, but this situation is fucked up at best. You can't let it happen again ,okay? I just can't do this anymore - I can't love you when you don't love me.”


“I’m sorry.” Nick had no idea what to say, and he knew that sorry didn’t cut it, he had nothing better to say. He saw defeat in Greg’s eyes.


“I’m gonna go for a walk, Nick.”


“Can I come?”


They walked to a clearing and looked down at the lake, the moon shining down on it made it a beautiful sight to look at. Greg took a deep breath and looked over at Nick.


“Look Nick, I’m sorry I left, okay? You were right - a part of me was being selfish. I wanted what I thought was best for me; I wanted to have a good life, to find a good job - and a part of me wasn’t thinking about how you’d react. I always thought of you as the understanding type, so I never questioned the fact that you’d be upset. I’m sorry I left earlier when I could have left later; but Kylie needed me. Her boyfriend is dying of cancer and I’m the only one she thought she could turn to - she’s nothing more than my friend. I didn’t want you to think I was two timing you or something. And Kristen - God, that was so wrong - you don’t know how guilty I feel for that; it haunts me every damn day. I wanted to come back so many times Nick, but I kept convincing myself that I could handle being away. But now I’m back, and I don’t feel any better.”


“I’m sorry for all of that, G. I’m sorry I was such a prick - but now that you’re back I can make it up to you. I’m glad you decided to come home, because you were my best friend Greggo. And I didn’t want to loose you as my best friend as well as my boyfriend.”


“I’ll always be your friend, Nicky”


Greg managed to smile his first genuine smile since he arrived back in Dallas and all Nick could do was mirror that smile. Nick smiled and hugged his friend. Greg pulled himself away and wrapped his arms around himself and yawned.


“Maybe it’s time we get back?’


Nick nodded and followed him back to their tent. They crawled back into it seeing Warrick and Alyssa were holding each other and sleeping soundly. Greg smiled and flopped down and was asleep in an instant. Warrick had awoken when they came back, but had stayed still, not wanting to wake Alyssa and not wanting to disturb Nick.


“Greggo you asleep?”


Greg didn't answer. He was wide-awake - he just didn't want to talk to Nick anymore about how messed up their whole relationship was. He was happy that they could at least go back to being friends, no matter how much it would hurt him. He has lost Nick by moving away and now he had to deal with those consequences.


“I’m so sorry Greggo. I’m sorry for everything. God, I don’t know how this all got so fucked up. I always jump to the worst kind of conclusions and never can fix them. As they say, you can never un-shoot a bullet. I love you G, I always have and always will - I know that we are too messed up now to even start another relationship, but I hope somewhere deep inside of you, you still know that.”


Tears slipped down Nicks cheeks and Greg felt them wetting his back, and he pulled himself into the pillow; Warrick smiled sadly, and he spoke quietly.


“Nick?”


“Yeah, man?”


“Stop torturing the both of you would you? You love him - you know he loves you - try and work it out.”


“I can’t, Rick”


“Why?”


“I’m just afraid, I guess. Afraid of going back to all those feelings and then have them crushed again - I can’t go through it all again. I always accused him of being selfish, but I’m the selfish one.”


“Listen Nick, he left school for you - because he loved you, because he wanted to come back to you. I can bet my whole damn life on this that, he won’t leave you again. Come on Nick, you’re one of my best friends, don’t make me kick your ass.”


Nick laughed gently and Greg pulled himself into his pillow some more.


“I don’t know Rick. What if he doesn’t want me anymore? I think I pretty much broke his heart as much as he did mine.”


“Go slow Nick. I’m sure Greg can understand the concept of going slow, he died inside just as much as you did the day he left. It’ll take the both of you together again to feel what it’s like to be alive again. I’m sure Greg will be able to wait for you to figure out what’s going on inside your head - if you just give him the chance.”


“I’m afraid to ask him Warrick, I’m even afraid to touch or look at him”


“Relax Nicky, and go to sleep. It’ll work itself out trust me”


There was silence and finally Greg was able to relax relaxed he sighed deeply and rolled over. Greg had tears in his eyes, but he didn't want to cry. He didn't know what to do. All he knew was that he needed to be held - so he shifted again, and found himself where he wanted to be - connected with Nicks bare skin. If he knew Nick as well as he thought he did, Nick would wrap his arms around him and pull him close - which was exactly what he did. Nick kissed the top of Greg’s head and whispered, “Sleep well Greggo, I'm so sorry for everything.”



Hold me now
I really want to tell you I'm sorry
I could never let you go
After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise to
And after all that's been said and done
You're just the part of me I can't let go

After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise to

You're gonna be the lucky one

When we get there gonna jump in the air
No one will see us 'cause there's nobody there
After all, you know we really don't care
Hold on, I'm gonna take you there


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