Let it all out|
Get it all out
Rip it out
Don't be alarmed
When the wound begins to bleed
Cause we're so scared to find out
What this life's all about
So scared we're going to lose it
Not knowing all along
That's exactly what we need
And today I will trust you with confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
But tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief
Oh inconsistent me
Crying out for consistency
And you said I know that this will hurt
But if I don't break your heart
Then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember the end will justify
The pain it took to get us there
Two weeks staying in the hospital without being able to go outside or see his friends had been the hardest on Nick, especially when all he could think about was the girl who answered the phone in Greg’s dorm, he was ready to talk to Greg about everything and she had crushed him by saying that she woke up to an empty bed and she wasn’t sure when he’d be back. He could still feel the way his heart fell into the pit of his stomach, his fingers clenched into fists just thinking about it. He sat in the passenger’s seat of his mother’s car staring blankly out the window, anticipating his arrival home. He no longer blamed Greg for leaving the way he did, he now understood that it was the best thing for him, but cheating on him, and then allowing a woman to break his heart like that was unforgivable. He was back on anti-depressants, they weren’t as strong as the Norpramin that he was on, but they still made him feel a bit weird, but after all. All anti-depressants took a bit of time to get used to. He stared at Warrick’s house as he passed by wondering if his friend was home, and he noticed the black car that was in the driveway and he smiled to himself, Warrick had been driving his parents crazy to get a new car, and finally his badgering had paid off. It was funny that he hadn’t mentioned it the last time that he was talking to him on the phone.
Nick hauled his suitcase up to his bedroom and laid down on the soft bed sighing as the bed felt like heaven on his back compared to the hard hospital beds that he had been sleeping on. His stomach growled reminding him that he hadn’t eaten the best in the past couple days because the food seemed to get harder and harder to swallow. He made his way to the kitchen and smiled widely at his mother as she placed a huge helping of turkey and potatoes and gravy in front of him, he dug into it and didn’t come up for air until the plate was cleaned. He smiled as he watched Warrick hop up his steps two at a time, he walked in and sat across from him at the table.
“It’s good to see you back and healthy man, you up for going to see a movie or something?”
“Sure, you driving or me?”
“Can you drive? I still don’t got my car, parents don’t wanna give in and pay the insurance.”
“Oh, I saw a car in your driveway, thought your parents gave in and got one for you, sorry.”
“It’s aight man, Lets go”
Nick and Warrick drove in silence and decided on Silent Hill when they arrived at the theatre, for a movie based on a video game Nick had to admit that it was pretty damn good. It made him jump in a few parts and the demon like babies creeped him out just a little when they got out of the movie theatre they decided to head to the mall and grab some more lunch because Nick still felt a little hungry, when they sat down at the food court Nick heard a squeal come from behind him and he turned around long enough to see a flurry of blond fly at him and then there was an Alyssa in his arms, she was holding him tightly and rocking him back and fourth while kissing him on the cheek.
“Oh it’s so good to see you Nick, I missed you so much, and there is a lot that you’re going to have to catch up in school. I wish we could have come and visited you, but I guess it was for the best, how are you feeling?”
Nick blinked a few times, she had spoken so fast that he wasn’t sure that had had caught all of it, so he answered the one thing he did hear.
“I’m actually feeling great Alyssa, they helped me out a lot and I’m a better person for it, I’m able to admit my feelings freely and I now understand that I do have a bit of a problem and I’ve accepted the fact that I’m going to have to be on a drug for a while to help me out. Instead of getting depressed over it I’m going to make the best of it.”
Alyssa smiled and hugged him again, Warrick’s cell phone rang breaking them out of their silence, he picked up and said Hello. They couldn’t hear the other person on the other end but they tried not to eavesdrop on Warrick’s part of the conversation.
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing man?”
Warrick waited for an answer and he nodded and hung up the phone after saying a quick goodbye. He waited for his friends to finish up their food and then they walked down the mall for a while, both men listening to Alyssa prattle on about anything and everything, she had no problem with them not answering her because she didn’t let them get a word in edgewise any other time. She smiled as they approached a two people who were standing at the arcade watching some younger people kick ass at Dance Dance Revolution. She greeted them giving each of them hugs. The blonde with riveting blue eyes smiled widely at her and kissed her on the cheek and spoke.
“I never understood how someone could move their body in time with that music”
She laughed and him and then turned towards Warrick and Nick.
“Guys, I’d like for you to meet my cousin Christopher and his sister Kylie”
Nick and Warrick greeted them warmly and when Nick shook Christopher’s hand he felt a shot of electricity shoot through him and he stared into his eyes for a couple of seconds, not since Greg had he felt such a fluttering in his heart and it frightened him a little bit, Christopher eventually pulled his hand away blushing a little bit and Alyssa grinned wickedly at Warrick. They continued down the mall and eventually parted ways with a promise that they’d all get together soon to do something, Alyssa unbeknownst to Warrick and Nick, handed Chris Nick’s phone number and winked at him and then followed her two friends out of the mall. Nick dropped her off first and then Warrick and he went back to his house to catch up on a few games of America’s Army, when Nick pulled in his driveway he saw the same black car that was in Warrick’s drive way now parked in his parking space, he pulled into the garage and looked at Warrick questioningly who just wouldn’t make eye contact with him. They both made it inside and walked slowly towards Nick’s room, Nick knew something was off just by the way that Warrick was walking, head down and hands in his pockets. They opened his bedroom door and someone was standing in his room, their back was turned and they were staring out the window, Nick stared at the spiked blonde hair and then let his eyes travel downwards, black sweater and jeans with studded belt, his heart started hammering in his chest and he took a step forward the noise alerting the stranger to their presence, he turned around and Nick gasped, he felt his knees go weak and tears well in his eyes as he stared wide eyed at the pale faced person staring back at him.
And I'll let it be known
At time I have shown
Signs of all my weakness
But somewhere in me
There is strength
And you promise me
That you believe
In time I will defeat this
Cause somewhere in me
There is strength
And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
And I'll try my best to just forget
That that man isn't me
Reach out to me
Make my heart brand new
Every beat will be for you
And I know you know
You touched my life
When you touched my heavy heart
And made it light
***Song: Reliant K: let it all out.