CSI
10,000 Miles by Raine_Szmanda1 [Reviews - 4]
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Talk to me softly
There is something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow
And please don't cry
I know how you feel inside
I've been there before
Somethin is changin' inside you
And don't you know


Don't you cry tonight
I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight


Give me a whisper
And give me a sign
Give me a kiss before you
tell me goodbye
Don't you take it so hard now
And please don't take it so bad
I'll still be thinkin' of you
And the times we had...baby


The lump that had formed in Nick’s throat felt like it was suffocating the life out of him. He did not want to cry, especially in front of his best friend. He didn’t need to give him any more of a reason to think he was going crazy. Then anger flooded his body, what right did Greg have to feel any sort of concern for him, he wanted to write him back and tell him to stay out of his life forever, but he knew that it wouldn’t solve anything, and it wouldn’t make him feel any better.

“What’s up Nick?”

Nick snapped out of his glaring contest with his Yahoo account and looked up at the Green eyes that looked like they were burrowing a hole through his soul. He shrugged his shoulders and decided that the truth was really the best option.

“Greg Emailed me, he was acting like everything is back to normal; Like I am going to forgive him just like that for leaving.”

“I don’t think he really expects you to forgive him, but maybe you’re being just a little bit hard on him, he’s trying to do something with his life man.”

“He could have done all the same things that he’s doing up there, here. I just don’t understand what it was about that damn place that made him go back. It makes me so angry to think about.”

“Well Nick, instead of getting pissed off about it, talk to him, make him explain himself. What could it hurt?”

Nick shrugged his shoulders, feeling the depression begin to wash over him again, he hated that damn feeling. It was gone the whole time that Greg was in his life, but now that it was gone it felt like his life line was gone. He let out a deep sigh letting the tension roll off his shoulders for the time being because he had a chemistry project to complete, and he wasn’t going to let the bleached blonde skinny twerp make him fail.

Nick could hear someone yelling his name but didn’t really care, he wanted to get home so he could talk to Greg, maybe figure out what the hell was going on, and see where they stood with each other, Nick knew that there was a lot of hate left inside of him, but if Greg asked, he’d forgive him in a second. He felt a hand grip his shoulder and he was spun around, his friends Warrick and Alyssa were standing there huge grins on their faces telling Nick that they were both up to mass amounts of no good.

“What’s up guys, I was just on my way home”

“There’s a band playing at the university tonight, they’re like my favorite of all time favorite bands, and Warrick here said he’d go if you said you would, So Nicky how about it?”

“Ummm..??”

Warrick narrowed his eyes and Nick shrugged his shoulders, knowing that any type of protest would just go down the tubes so he finally relented and nodded at the both of them.

“okay guys I’ll go, but I don’t have the car tonight, so one of you are going to have to drive.”

Alyssa jumped at Nick and hugged him tightly and kissed him on the cheek.

“Thank you, Thank You, you wont regret this I promise”

Nick could tell by the tone in her voice that he really would probably regret his decision to go, but it was too late to back out now, so he went home and begrudgingly got ready to go. When Warrick picked him up he was certain that the night was going to go terribly and he was going to have the worst time of his life, Alyssa bounced out to the ford focus with a huge undeniable smile on her face and Nick couldn’t’ help but smile back at her.

“So..Who’s this favorite band that’s playing tonight?”

“Velvet Revolver” Alyssa blushed as Nick rolled his eyes at her answer

“Of course you left that fact out when I was agreeing to this.”

“Oh come on Nicky, they’re not that bad, besides you like Gun’s N Roses, and Duff is hot.”

Nick couldn’t help but laugh at her, they got their hands stamped at the door and walked into the loud dimly lit room, and his mind couldn’t help drift back to Greg, he was wondering what he was doing at that moment and time, if he was thinking of him, if he seemed to be as lonely as Nick felt at that moment, he tried to laugh, he tried to have a good time, but he just couldn’t seem to bring himself, finally he was able to go home, Warrick dropped him off with a promise of doing something again soon, he thanked him for the drive and walked into his house, his ears were aching, his back was sore, and someone stepped onto his foot and he thought his big toe was broken.

He sat down on his computer and logged on, he couldn’t believe that Greg was ruling his life like this, he felt like his only happiness moved to San Francisco with Greg. He saw that Greg was online and he cringed as Greg immediately clicked on him.

GREG: Hey Nicky, I called earlier, your mom said you were gone with Warrick and Alyssa, where’d ya go to?
NICK: A velvet revolver concert, and before you say anything, Alyssa didn’t tell me it was Velvet Revolver before I agreed.
GREG: I was gonna say, you don’t like anything but Country, So do you think we could have that voice conversation?
NICK:I don’t much feel like talking, but you can turn on webcams if you want


Nick accepted Greg’s invitations, and it felt like his whole composure failed as he watched Greg’s face flash across the screen, tears welled in his eyes and were falling down his cheeks before he knew what hit him, and he saw Greg’s concern written all over his face.

GREG:You okay Sweetie?
NICK:What the fuck do you think Greg?
GREG: Okay yeah it was a stupid question I’m sorry. I miss you Nicky.
NICK: Shouldn’t have left then
GREG:I’m sorry Nick
NICK: no you’re not Greg, you’re happy where you are, while I’m here miserable.
GREG: Is that what you think Nick? That I’m exstatic? I came here because it was my home, and I missed it, I came here because I believe this university can do something for me. It had nothing to do with you. Do you think I really wanted to leave you?
NICK: You could have stayed longer, but you left so soon.
GREG: I promised Kylie that I’d visit her and stay with her a couple of days.
NICK: Your ex Girlfriend?
GREG: We’re friends Nick.
NICK: Right, anyhow Greg, I’m tired. Talk to you later.
GREG: Nick you don’t go to bed for at least 4 more hours.
NICK: I have no reason to stay awake
GREG: You could stay and talk to me
NICK: What for I have nothing to say to you.


Without giving Greg a chance Nick signed off MSN, he knew that he was probably being childish, and that Greg And Kylie were really just friends, but he couldn’t stop the jealousness from surging from him, he sat on his bed and rocked back and fourth and scratched at his arms, he stared down and examined them, little white lines were just barely visible on the surface. They were scars that reminded him of who he used to be, how he used to feel. A stranger living inside of his body, constantly in pain, dealing with depression and fear of everything around him, and at that moment in time, he was that person again.

He hated himself for feeling so weak, he rummaged around his room and tore apart his dresser looking for what he knew he’d eventually find, the one thing that caused Greg to be disappointed in him, the one thing that proved to him that he could never really change who he was, no matter how hard he tried. He sat crossed legged on his bed, and held the shiny razor blade between his thumb and pointer finger held out his wrist and touched the blade to his skin, he closed his eyes and felt a small tear trail down his cheek.

How can you just walk on by
Without one tear in your eye
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me
Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all
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