“Did you see that? Nick was totally checking out Greg’s butt in the hall!”
Catherine smiled at Warrick’s exclamation. “And why shouldn’t he if he wants to?”
“I don’t care if he does it but why can’t he do something about it? Isn’t two years of foreplay long enough?” Warrick leaned against a file cabinet, as far away from Catherine as possible in her tiny office.
“I think it’s time for us to help them figure it out,” Catherine said, a dangerous sparkle in her eye. “I’ve got an idea.”
~*~
“Greg!”
“Jacqui?”
“Come to the storage closet and be tall for me. I can’t reach something I need,” Jacqui ordered.
“There’s a stool in there for just that purpose. Are you telling me you’re too frail and dainty to get up on it yourself?” Greg didn’t take his feet off the desk, where he was comfortably settled, reading a surfing magazine.
“So you’re refusing to help me, your friend?” Jacqui’s voice quavered with mock hurt.
“Why, yes. Yes I am.” Greg smirked at her.
“Boys,” Jacqui called out calmly. Bobby and Archie strode into the lab and grabbed Greg by both arms, pulling him up from his chair and marching him down the hall ignoring his struggles the entire way.
“What the fuc–” Greg burst out, half laughing and half angry.
“Language, Greg,” Jacqui interrupted primly. They came to a halt at the storage closet and she moved forward to unlock the door.
“And this is all because I wouldn’t help–”
Greg staggered as they shoved him into the darkened room, crashing into a bank of shelves, ducking his head as a shower of unidentified office products fell around him. He heard the lock click behind him and exclaimed, “Fuck!”
“Hey, G.”
“Nick! What are you doing in here?”
“Not quite sure but I’m betting we’ll find out soon.”
“Why is it dark?” Greg started feeling along the wall for the switch.
“Already tried that. They must have tripped the circuit breaker.”
Greg tripped over the stool he had recommended to Jacqui earlier, barely stopping himself from tumbling flat, and whacking himself on the funny bone in the process. “Ow!”
“C’mere,” Nick said. “Want me to kiss it and make it better?”
“Yes,” Greg said in a sulky tone. “Where are you?”
Nick flicked on his tiny keychain flashlight and Greg saw him seated comfortably on the floor, leaning back against some shelving. He staggered over and dropped down next to Nick, offering his elbow. Nick kissed it tenderly and wrapped his arm around Greg’s shoulders. “Better now?”
“Yeah,” Greg sighed. “Why are they doing this?”
“I don’t know.”
“You got your cell phone?” Greg asked hopefully.
“Nope, left it on my desk. You?”
“No, Archie grabbed it off me when they threw me in here.” Greg settled into the circle of Nick’s arm, leaning his head against his shoulder. “Maybe we should do this more often at work, huh?”
Both men started slightly at a sharp rap on the door.
“Boys?”
“Cath?”
“You’re probably wondering why we called this meeting, right?”
“Right,” Nick answered.
“We’ve been watching you two flirt and dance around each other forever and you’re getting nowhere, we decided to help things along a bit.”
Greg giggled. “Told you we hid it well.”
“I guess you were right, G,” Nick whispered back.
Warrick raised his voice. “We left you something to help with…negotiations. In the paper bag. Check it out.”
“And you’re not leaving till you work something out,” Jacqui added.
“Geez, are all of you in on this?” Greg groaned.
“Lucky for you we didn’t include Grissom. Now start talking.”
“How soon do you think we should ask them to let us out?”
“At least 15 minutes and we have to make it look good. Don’t you want to know what’s in the bag, G?”
“Oh, yeah, where is it?”
Nick flicked on his flashlight again and passed it over the small room.
“God, I really made a mess, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, we’ll get them to clean it up. It’s the least they can do. There’s the bag.”
“Leave it to a CSI,” Greg murmured as Nick crawled to the bag. He snagged it, looked inside and started laughing.
“You’re not gonna believe this, man.”
“What, what?”
“Glow in the dark condoms, lube – the wrong kind, and the Joy of Gay Sex,” Nick snorted.
“Not the Kama Sutra? They don’t think we’re more advanced than that?”
“They don’t think we’re an ‘us’, remember?”
“Oh yeah,” said Greg in a thoughtful voice that worried Nick.
“What are you thinking, G?”
Greg got up and went to the door. He fell against it with a thump and pressed his ear to it. He could hear rustles and laughter. He giggled quietly and whispered, “They’re outside, listening. Follow my lead.”
“Nick, keep your hands to yourself!”
“Greg, what are you doing?”
“Play along,” Greg hissed, then said loudly, “Why you didn’t ever tell me… Ohhh…”
Nick snickered and thumped the door, moaning, “I never thought you could care for me…”
“Kiss me!” Greg exclaimed dramatically.
Nick made more moaning noises and rattled the door.
“Did you hear that?” Warrick asked, turning to Catherine. She nodded and giggled.
“What do you think they’re doing?” Archie wondered.
“Don’t ask questions when you don’t want to know the answers,” Bobby grinned.
“Could they actually be doing it against the door?” Jacqui whispered.
“Technically yes, but it’s a difficult position for a first time–” Bobby answered.
“TMI, Bobby!” Archie protested, covering his ears.
Nick and Greg snickered as they listened on the other side of the door. “Gee, I liked it,” whispered Nick, grinning with glee.
“Oh, yes… right there… fuck… yes!” Greg moaned.
Nick dropped his head against the door smothering a laugh. “Ohhh Greg, I can’t keep my hands off you!”
“Feel so good, Nick…Oooh! Ohhh, yes!”
“You’re getting into this too much,” Nick whispered. “Don’t over do it!”
Greg threw back his head and let out a really loud moan, “Oh, Nicky, right there…touch me! Oh! My! God!”
Jacqui snickered, “Ten bucks, Archie. I told you he was a screamer.”
“Oh Nicky, I want to fuck you!”
“Greg!” Nick hit him in the arm. “Now they’re going to think I’m a bottom!” He cleared his throat. “No, Greg, I want to fuck you!”
“You are a bottom, Nick,” Greg muttered.
“Only for you,” Nick kissed Greg’s nose, then raised his voice moaning, “Oh, Greg…”
“You’re my Greedy Bottom Peeg,” Greg whispered, nuzzling Nick’s neck.
“Shut up! If they heard that–”
“My Hot Texas Stud! Ride me!” Greg shouted.
“You fucker!” Nick hissed and poked Greg in the ribs. “All right you asked for it.” He raised his voice and yelled, “So hot. So tight! Oh my precious Boo Boo Bear!”
Greg slid down the wall to the floor, his body shaking with silent laughter. Nick listened to the muffled giggles on the other side of the door and bumped rhythmically against the door, yelling, “Yes, Yes, YES!”
In the long silence that followed, Jacqui said quietly, “You, Warrick, are going to ALS that room before I touch another paper clip.”
“You don’t think they really…?” Archie asked a dazed looking Bobby.
“What’s going on here, if I may ask?” Grissom came up behind the group quietly.
Bobby and Archie immediately fled for their respective labs, but Jacqui, Catherine and Warrick courageously stood their ground.
“We locked Greg and Nick in the supply closet so they could work something out,” Catherine stated boldly but nonspecifically.
“Oh, and how is it going?” Grissom asked mildly, scientific curiosity always trumping the supervisor in him.
“We’re not…exactly sure,” Jacqui said uncertainly.
“Let’s open the door and find out.” Grissom inserted his key.
“NO!” shouted Jacqui, Catherine and Warrick in unison.
Ignoring their agitated response, Grissom turned the key in the lock and opened the door. Jacqui covered her eyes, but peeked through her fingers.
Greg was sitting on one side of the room, leaning against the shelving, arms crossed, fully dressed with his lab coat in place. Nick was across the room in a similar pose. And although they both had cheeky grins on their faces, not a hair was out of place.
“Hi guys,” Greg bounced up and walked past the group huddled by the door. “This does not count as my break,” he said airily and disappeared toward his lab.
“Hey,” said Nick. He got up and pushed the bag of condoms into Warrick’s hands. “You left your supplies in there, man.” He punched Warrick in the shoulder, just a little harder than was strictly necessary, grinning at his friend’s open mouth and staring eyes, and brushed by him to go down the hall.
Grissom said, “I don’t understand what you were hoping to accomplish with this experiment. Anyone want to clue me in?”
“I will,” Catherine said bravely. “Let’s go to your office.”
Jacqui said, “They were having us on. Maggots!” She tossed her head and went off to her lab in a huff.
Warrick stood staring at the brown bag he held crushed to his chest. He shook his head slightly to collect his thoughts and hurried after Nick.
“Glow in the dark condoms, man? Is that so we could see where to put it?” Nick grinned at Warrick’s shocked face.
“You’re gay? You never told me,” Warrick said accusingly.
“You never told me you were straight,” Nick pointed out.
“But you and Greg! You’re…together?”
“Two years.”
“But I never knew.”
“We’re discreet. Not like some people.”
“Who?” Warrick demanded.
“You and Catherine,” said Nick unable to suppress a grin at Warrick’s dismayed face.
~*~
Beta'd by Jennybel 75 and kahlualeia, thank you guys.
Disclaimer: I don't own them; if I did I'd make a fortune on the home movies.
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